It was a year ago today that I moved out of a life situation I was not happy with. With that comes a level of significance for me. I have been so focused on my goals, I never think to look up, or look back at where I’ve come from.
Spring 2015 – I had spent the entire year of 2014 dedicated to bettering my life. In a constant limbo of yo-yo-ing on and off diets, workout programs, smoking cessations, alcohol avoidance, and just constantly reading and listening to audio books and motivational speakers and profound thinkers. I couldn’t piece together what it was that I couldn’t grasp. Why couldn’t I just change my life the way I wanted to?
I was in a relationship I didn’t want to be in, living in a house I didn’t feel a part of, and unhappy with my life’s accomplishments, direction, and overall health. I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, drank alcohol 3-4 times a week, heavily, did recreational drugs pretty casually, and ate whatever was in front of me throughout the entire day, usually to the point of being so full I couldn’t move. I felt out of control, like my actions were not a result of my mind.
I blamed so many things and people: my living situation, my family situation, my relationship, my lack of knowledge, my addictive personality, my mindset, the Illuminati.
I had all these aspirations, dreams, and motivation. I was determined to get my life back to a point I could be proud of.
But I never looked in the mirror.
Fall 2015 – It’s the end of Summer. I tried hard to stick to eating healthy, to not smoking, and reducing my drinking… I failed to maintain any of those goals over and over. Everything I hoped I would accomplish by the end of Summer was a failure. All that motivation didn’t mean shit because ultimately I didn’t take my goals more seriously than my fun. Then something happened…
This time… I looked hard in the mirror.
I had this conversation with the face staring back at me. It was a truthful one. One I don’t know if I was prepared to have, but the one I needed.
“You are a result of your own actions. You don’t have the body you want because you want to have fun more than you want that body. You don’t have the life you want because you don’t have a plan. You’re a failure at your goals because you can’t stay consistent with anything in your life. You don’t have purpose or drive because you just don’t give a shit about yourself.
You want to change? Guess what, it’s up to you! No one is going to hand you a God damn thing, and even if they did, you don’t deserve to have it!
Earn your shit! Go put in the work it takes! Write down some goals, design a plan to achieve them, and fucking execute!”
Screaming into a mirror does funny things.
I became obsessed. I was determined to figure out the piece of the puzzle that was missing. And it clicked…
I had already written it months before in the Spring, my plan, my idea was already laid out for me. But when I originally wrote it, it was a vague, cloudy concept. It didn’t have the drive behind it, the structure, the fundamental pillars of change didn’t exist.
But I was determined.
I spent that entire month intensely reading, researching, and developing a system I could apply to my life that would get me on track to achieve whatever goal I set out. Out of that month came the system I had been building in my mind for years, but I just didn’t know it:
November 1st 2015 – 275 lbs – 30% Body Fat — A new scale gave me a frightening truth, I had a tremendous journey ahead of me. But instead of dwelling on the mountain I had to move, I instead just moved a single rock:
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
I laid down a plan, the foundation for my life transformation. I created a distinct goal, measurable in every way, and I wrote it down where I could see it everyday. I held myself accountable, wrote down progress all along the way. And I didn’t tell a single person… I kept it all to myself. Why? Because I hadn’t accomplished shit, and every time I would tell someone of my plan of any other goal I had in my life, I was looking for their approval, as if it mattered.
No, my goal is my own. My life is my own. And I will run full speed towards it until I achieve it, and then, I won’t have to tell anyone what I’ve achieved, I’ll just be asked how I did it.